Does He hold your hand…?

I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.

1 Samuel 1:27-28

I did not always have the greatest relationship with God. I was not raised in the church, I attended private school till the first grade and then that was it. I left terrified of God and only went to church occasionally on Easter or Christmas Eve. I knew he existed, I never doubted Him. I always knew He was there and I never wavered from that feeling, however, I did for many years live without a relationship with Him. I did not talk to Him, I did not pray to Him and I did not attend His house every Sunday. But He found me when I got lost and I am forgiven and now walk back hand and hand with Him. Except now, it is not just me and Him, now we are joined by my husband and our daughter and for this I am forever grateful for the blessings He has given me.

Baby K was baptized today. Methodists believe baptism is essential for babies although salvation is a life long process and as she becomes older she will have to profess her love for the Lord and Jesus Christ by herself. Of course Evan and I will steer her in this direction to the best of our ability. As our preacher was reading the vows Evan and I had to accept as spiritual guiders in her life and accepted them wholeheartedly I thought to myself how beautiful she was in her long white dress as she held so still and serene for the preacher. I had been so sure she would try to wiggle out of his arms. But she didn’t, she stayed motionless, the only time she has stayed calm in someones arms all week, practically all month. And I thought isn’t that something? The Lord has made her steady, held her so she did not waver like her mother. I truly believe God has a plan for her, that she will be raised up as a model for Christ in the whole lot of living she has left to do.

Often I think of my life before I truly accepted my faith, how I never felt completed or satisfied. How I would drive past churches and think why people wasted two hours of there weekend every weekend. And I think to myself praise the Lord he steadied me. I wouldn’t have the blessings I have today without the hand of God in mine. Without the hand of God in my husbands. And for this I realize I would have nothing if I remained the same. It fills my heart to know Baby K will always be wrapped in the arms of the Lord, that she will never fall off His path, and if she does Evan and I will be there to guide her back into His loving arms. What a glorious day, praise the Lord, we are immersed in His love. She is a beautiful girl, and I will continue to thank God for her everyday.

Love always,
Baby K and Me

Advertisement

Be Still My Heart…

There are few places I’d rather never have to be than a children’s hospital. It is by far one of the worst places to ever have to come to, however, I always walk out more humbled than I was before. I cannot explain to you how much respect I have for the children in there, not to mention the beautiful people that call that their work place. They are all heroes in the most pure sense.
We got to the hospital around 11 yesterday, my stomach was in knots. When I walked in, I almost had no emotion, I was just there. I was numb, I was walking down the colorful hallways but I couldn’t tell you the blue walls from the yellow, it was all a blur. However, when we got checked in the staff was beyond welcoming, they laughed with us, they comforted us and Baby K was as happy as pie. We walked back to the radiology department, everything was over so quickly. Baby K cried for most of the testing, but she quickly calmed down with a bottle afterwards. Next, we waited, we waited for what felt like eternity but what was probably more like about thirty minutes. Finally, the tech came in and told us it would be 24 to 48 hours before they knew anything. My heart sank.. I couldn’t wait that long. I must have given her a disheartened look because she smiled and said she wouldn’t worry to much. That was enough for me, I practically skipped out of that place. It wasn’t more than two hours later I received a call from Baby K’s doctor. Her ultrasound screening was NORMAL. Who would’ve thought the word “normal” could have had such a profound impact on me. I was and still am elated! The news meant that the only surgery Baby K needs is plastic surgery and that is the best news. I cannot describe to you in words the way I have felt these past couple of weeks, between the worry and the stress, it completely drained the life out of me. It is truly the most fulfilling feeling in the world to know your child is healthy, in every sense of the word. Worth the wait every single bit.
I sincerely believe God sent her to me. I believe she is a gift from God to Evan and I to fulfill our lives. And I also truly believe he has put us in these situations to make us stronger, to strengthen the love we have for her and with each other. He wants us to have these experiences not to suffer but to learn from them. I faithfully believe he wants Evan and I to realize the value of the wonderful gift he has given to us, because he knows Baby K has big things to do in her life both spiritually and personally. As tough as this situation was I truly see the beauty in this experience, and I am learning from it as I know Evan is as well.

What a feeling to know God is on our side!! With Him on our side who can be against us??

Love always,
Baby K and Me