Recently my daughter started crawling, even more recently my daughter started standing, and a few days ago she started walking while holding on to something. Call it hindering, bad parenting, or whatever else you want too but I started to feel like each time she did something new I was sad. I would usually throw out a smile and encourage her but inside it was heartbreaking. The days seemed so short, and she was growing so fast. When she was first born, the days couldn’t go by fast enough. I wanted to get her off of those machines, the beeping was driving me insane, I wanted those stupid tubes to come out of her nose and mouth. I was tired of watching her repeatedly rip out that feeding tube. Those days lasted FOREVER. Then once she was home we had some difficult days and some difficult nights and I thought I can’t wait till morning or I can’t wait till your father gets home. Now I am constantly finding myself asking when will it slow down? My answer is always never. It doesn’t slow down, I don’t need other mom’s to tell me that, it’s becoming increasingly obvious. I recently started a new job at a company not far from where we live. Obtaining a job was completely my decision, Evan makes plenty of money and we were comfortable but I was being called to do something, and that was to find work. Being out of the house is wonderful, I loved spending all my days with Baby K do not get me wrong, but I had this overwhelming feeling God wanted something different for me. So we found a daycare and we have made this transition with limited complications. Looking back on it, I’ve had this job for a little over a month and I started to think about why I was called to work. And recently He gave me an answer. I needed to realize it’s not the quantity it’s the quality and it hit me almost as instant gratification. It made sense and I truly felt like His message had come in more bold than ever before. The time I have with her is all about the quality. So we changed things a bit, in the mornings Baby K and I have special mommy and me time which we both love, where we eat breakfast, play with toys, get ready and sing songs like Jesus Loves Me. In the evenings when Evan gets home, we read stories, eat dinner, give her a bath, and play till she is tired out. No stress, no fussing, no sitting at home wondering if she is tired of being at the house all the time. I am a happier person and I am a better mother for it. The milestones she makes are beginning to feel less cumbersome on my emotions and are making me proud and encouraging and she is such a social butterfly she loves being around the kids at the daycare all day. To top it all off the Lord blessed me with a wonderful job, with wonderful people, in a wonderful environment in which I can come home stress free with a smile on my face to ensure the time with Baby K is nothing short of such quality which was ultimately the quest from the beginning.
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6
Love always,
Baby K and Me
Coming Up For Air 